Apart

I'm supposed to be packing up my apartment right now, but I was overcome with a wave of sadness at the thought of all of the goodbyes I'm going to have to say tomorrow.
I've had to say quite a few goodbyes over the last week, but at least those have been spaced out. Tomorrow, it's church. So BAM, goodbye hugs for roughly 100 people. ... Ha, okay, maybe not 100, but a lot.

I have a hard time saying goodbye, and as I thought about why that is, I realized it's probably because connection and closeness with people I love is pretty integral to my and most other people's lives. When you leave for a long time, say, 3.5 months (I guess in the grand scheme of things this isn't thaaat long, but still), those people you love are going to learn a lot (hopefully), and, again hopefully, deepen other relationships and form special new ones. But you're not going to be a part of that. I suppose I have a fear that this will lead to a lessened connection between myself and those left behind, so that, when we're together again, things just aren't the same, and we're not as close.

The flip side, which I've been starting to appreciate more and more, is that, um duh Christina, I'll be growing and forming exciting new relationships too. This doesn't need to detract from old friendships; rather, it can work to build them up. Separate growth of friends can deepen connection in a sense; when you part and then come back together, yes, it's hard to say goodbye, and yes, friendship bonds with some may weaken because of it. However, in most cases, this growth while apart can lead to maturation and identity development on each individual's end. When you bring true friends back together after this, there will likely be that sense that time has passed and that experiences have been experienced that the other can't really share in, but when the friendship's true, you won't get estrangement. Instead, you'll have bundles of stories and exciting epiphanies to share. A new dimension will be added to the relationship, because of the unique experiences that have shaped and changed each of you.

So, friends who read this (and those who don't), chances are I'll cry a lot when, or shortly after, we say goodbye (if I haven't already done so), but I'm also really, really excited to see you in the fall - to share my stories and to listen to yours, to enjoy the feeling of refreshment that comes with added friendship dimensions, and to being able to return somewhere where faces are familiar and full of love.
.... No pressure ;)

Je vous aime, tous !

Bienvenue à Montréal

So, here I am. In Montréal. It is past midnight here, and while most often that is a perfectly reasonable time to be up for every growing young adult, tonight I need sleep, for tomorrow I am going to begin the crazy process that is moving in, becoming an official McGill student (aka, one with an ID), and performing countless little tasks that are hard to list off but will easily fill a day. And I'm waking up early to begin it all.

Montréal is overwhelming. Beautiful, but more overwhelming than I remember it being, probably because I keep imagining myself having to navigate the streets alone, when simply being around all of the ridiculously tall buildings confuses me. I feel like a small town girl, even though my hometown is one of the largest cities in my province! I felt disoriented this evening, but I'm hoping that that changes for the better tomorrow. There are just so many streets! And I realized that I'm not going to be able to see the stars for quite some time; this fills me with a pretty deep sadness, and if that is cause for grief, I'd better not even think about how hard it was to say good-bye to my friends and family, especially T, since I don't know when I'll get to see her again....

But I won't let this drag on into a pity session, because it really IS exciting to be here, surrounded by French and gorgeous historic architecture and thousands of adventures to be had! Though at the moment, it is time for sleep, so that those adventures don't involve me collapsing in front of a gorgeous historic building trying to mutter in French that I've fallen and I can't get up.

Who'd like to hike?

So, tomorrow. ... 5:55 am. Off to Toronto, then on to Algonquin Park!

One night exploring downtown Toronto, then six nights of back-packing in the wilderness, followed by three days of what I presume will be relaxation, at, "The Scholars' Retreat".

But this means that today I have to say goodbye to my most beautifulest sister A... Actually, that farewelling will take place in tomorrow morning's wee hours, but you get the idea.

Suddenly, I'm thinking of a bazillion things I'd like to do with her before I go, but they will all have to wait until Christmas break, or some such time! There's so much I still want to do before shipping out east. Time flies much too fast.

But expeditioning is on the horizon! I'll be sure to tell you how that goes :)

Riding the Bus with My Sister ... and brother too, I suppose :)

My mom is the best. There are a scant 22 days until I leave, but scarier than that figure are the mere two days left with my brother J before we're separated until Christmas, and the seven days left with my sister, A. My leaving for the Loran expedition on August 11th combined with their camp-going is what's causing this, and I'm very excited (for them and me)! But the realization that there's so little time left is awfully strange. That's where Maman comes in. After spending a marvelous three days with E (one of my good friends from Québec last summer) and her/my new friend Z, my mom decided to initiate the setting aside of some time for my siblings and I. In the form of bus riding. Interesting, n'est-ce pas? Well, I suppose there's no harm in learning life skills while bonding! (The three of us aren't exactly adept at bus-riding in our lovely city, so this was to be practice.) It seemed a little silly at first - ride bus to mall, then downtown, then back home - but I think that a lot of the seemingly sillier things in life can make for some of the best experiences.

So, the bus we did ride. (Big adventure, right?!) Well, as it turns out, it was quite fun :) The best part was follows:

While riding from the mall to downtown, we sat somewhat silently. I was people-watching, and a rather charming interaction caught my eye. There was a young(ish) man, maybe late 20's or early 30's who sat across the aisle from a woman of about the same age. Now, I can only relate to you events from my perspective, but it seemed to me that they didn't really know each other, and the man had just struck up a conversation. He had an open, honest, and smiling face with an expression that seemed to reveal he had just broken through a shy reservation to speak with her. Now that he'd succeeded, he looked quite pleased, for she certainly appeared to enjoy speaking with him. She laughed at all the right moments, which only served to further widen the man's smile. They were certainly hitting it off! I wish I'd known what they were saying, but they were speaking in Spanish, for at least a while.

Then the bus stopped, and an elderly lady came onboard. She sat right next to the young man, asking him to scoot over to a window, and effectively stopped the flow of conversation. The man gave the young woman an apologetic, regretful look, then chatted a short while with the newcomer, before their conversation dissipated into nothingness.

I turned to J and A to see if they had noticed, and the greatest thing was that they too had been watching all the while! The whole exchange. We were all sad to see this developing friendship be brought to a halt. But as it turned out, the older woman left just a few stops later, and with an eager smile, friendly conversation returned between the younger pair. It was a delight to observe.

Call me a silly romantic if you will, but truly! Even my tough brother noticed those two. It was all in the man's eyes - J himself said that he looked "so sweet". And as we got off the bus downtown, I heard the young man tell the young woman, in English, that he was pleased to meet her, as he gave her a warm grin. ¡Mágico!

Then we were all business again, and got ourselves delicious fries (with malt vinegar!) and sorbet. A pleasure of a day... Merci Maman.