I'm supposed to be packing up my apartment right now, but I was overcome with a wave of sadness at the thought of all of the goodbyes I'm going to have to say tomorrow.
I've had to say quite a few goodbyes over the last week, but at least those have been spaced out. Tomorrow, it's church. So BAM, goodbye hugs for roughly 100 people. ... Ha, okay, maybe not 100, but a lot.
I have a hard time saying goodbye, and as I thought about why that is, I realized it's probably because connection and closeness with people I love is pretty integral to my and most other people's lives. When you leave for a long time, say, 3.5 months (I guess in the grand scheme of things this isn't thaaat long, but still), those people you love are going to learn a lot (hopefully), and, again hopefully, deepen other relationships and form special new ones. But you're not going to be a part of that. I suppose I have a fear that this will lead to a lessened connection between myself and those left behind, so that, when we're together again, things just aren't the same, and we're not as close.
The flip side, which I've been starting to appreciate more and more, is that, um duh Christina, I'll be growing and forming exciting new relationships too. This doesn't need to detract from old friendships; rather, it can work to build them up. Separate growth of friends can deepen connection in a sense; when you part and then come back together, yes, it's hard to say goodbye, and yes, friendship bonds with some may weaken because of it. However, in most cases, this growth while apart can lead to maturation and identity development on each individual's end. When you bring true friends back together after this, there will likely be that sense that time has passed and that experiences have been experienced that the other can't really share in, but when the friendship's true, you won't get estrangement. Instead, you'll have bundles of stories and exciting epiphanies to share. A new dimension will be added to the relationship, because of the unique experiences that have shaped and changed each of you.
So, friends who read this (and those who don't), chances are I'll cry a lot when, or shortly after, we say goodbye (if I haven't already done so), but I'm also really, really excited to see you in the fall - to share my stories and to listen to yours, to enjoy the feeling of refreshment that comes with added friendship dimensions, and to being able to return somewhere where faces are familiar and full of love.
.... No pressure ;)
Je vous aime, tous !
In my experience, short term absences don't put your relationships in jeopardy. I had a friend (my best friend at the time) who went to Bolivia for a year and when he came back, it took like two seconds to reconnect, parhaps even to a further extent than we had previously. As far as I've observed, you can be as close with someone as is mutually desired. As in, if you aren't close with someone, it's less likely to be because of geographical distance and more likely to be because one of you doesn't want to get too close. Boundaries.
ReplyDeleteWe'll definitely not stop growing while you're away and neither will you, but speaking for myself, I'll long for your return the moment you leave, because I love you so much and you are one of my greatest joys. And if friendship bonds weaken while you're in Kenya, rest assured strengthening them will be a high priority.
I wholeheartedly agree with David. You've made such an impact here, and you've really fit right in. I'm so thankful for our friendship and all the ways that God has used you to encourage me. I really enjoyed spending so much of your last weekend in Montreal with you - even if we didn't get to take a (much needed) nap.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying that you really feel like God is using you in a big way this summer. In fact, I'm confident that He will. Friendyy, I am absolutely excited to hear about your adventures!! I love you so much, Christina. Out of sight doesn't mean out of mind - I promise!