Psychology & Realism

It's already begun:
I have some kind of irrational emotion, and I understand why I'm having it. Well that's convenient and useful for emotional well-being, but it can happen when I have whims too, dreams, lovely sentiments... Reason and knowledge of the mind swoop in and explain away all mystery.

I've only taken two psychology courses at McGill, and the way of thinking behind them has already infected my mind.

I realize the word "infected" makes it sound entirely unpleasant, but really, it's not completely, and I use "infected" only because once this mindset grabs hold of you, it becomes difficult to ever let it go. Being able to explain human behaviour, or at least feel like you can, does have its perks: it helps enormously in conflict resolution, counselling, moving past harmful irrationality, understanding others... etc. etc. The trouble is, there are times when I don't want to understand everything, and don't want to unravel every mystery. Naturally, this begs the deeper question: is it wrong to want to avoid knowledge, to remain in ignorance?

Generally, my answer to this question would be yes, it is wrong: one should seek truth!
I do stand by that, but I think that when it comes to the human mind, there are times when explanations turn out to be inaccurate and/or unnecessary. Inaccurate in that they don't do justice to the mind's true state of affairs, and unnecessary in that they can stifle creativity and imagination.

Life is nice with a little mystery, with a few things that can't be explained away by logic, and humans are one of the more mysterious and interesting groups to observe! Human life and emotion in all its complexity is fascinating to wonder about and experience. Often, when realism kicks in in the middle of some imaginative train of thought, it kills it, and all you're left with is a feeling of "Oh. Well, I suppose that makes sense then." It can be quite the letdown.

The reason I'm so focused on psychology is because I'm considering studying both it and linguistics, and the time for course selection has arrived. At this moment, the thought of pursuing courses that try to explain and understand human behaviour and mental processes is a little disheartening. I feel as though it might quash some of my creative spirit. Maybe that's silly. Maybe, like the physicist who understands matter and goes on to research the possibility of string theory, I could use this knowledge to think past what is and consider what more could be discovered - that requires imagination!
(I know that physics isn't the same as psychology, yes yes, but allow me to draw the hopeful parallel.)

After all, isn't all education about seeking to understand more and more?

It really does change your perspective though, psychology. It applies to everything, making it hard to get out of your mind, because it's the study of, well, you, and everyone around you, which is why it's so popular! And important. Sometimes, this seems fascinating, but at other times, like right now, I feel as though I don't want to have a bundle of knowledge explaining away the wonderment and curiosity that comes from having mysteries of the mind to explore. Is it wrong to purposefully avoid certain knowledge and simply live out the human experience?

If anyone has an opinion, I would very much like to hear it!

If you're feeling anxious

Lots of life going on lately.
I find this song so so calming and dreamy. Music is one of the best remedies for stress; good music can lift you out of life and put you in a moment removed from everything else. In that separation, it can soothe your soul, give you time to think clearly, and ease you back into reality. Music, beauty, gives you a fresh perspective.
This song has yet to fail to relax, especially when I'm stressed and studying.
"Ollie Falls Asleep" - Berlinist. Enjoy :)

Self-promoting narcissists

You may already know this, but for context’s sake I’ll make my predicament/(fortune?) known:

This summer, I must find a job. But not your typical student summer job, mind you. No, it has to be a tad more involved, more along the lines of an upper-level, paid internship. Problem is, I don’t exactly have a CV filled with the skills most insurance companies or typical businesses would be looking for, and I’m supposed to find a position with a “profit-driven company”. So how do I convince a business that I’m worth hiring? (Because I am TOTALLY worth hiring by the way ;))

Well, I read a blog post recently, and it looks like I have some work to do.

I highly recommend actually reading the article, but if you don’t, here’s the gist of it:

Women, in general, are less willing than men to be totally ballsy and bluff their way into work that they’re not necessarily qualified for. This author, "Clay Shirky", suggests that women aren’t as willing as men to be “self-promoting narcissists” to get their way. Of course that doesn't mean that this is true of all women, or that all men find it easy to be "self-aggrandizing jerks" when the situation calls for it, but the author does have a point in noting that a lot more men seem to become famous in their chosen fields than women, and this isn’t because women are under-qualified - it would seem many (more?) men simply know when and how to effectively exaggerate their abilities! Anyways, if you want the whole story, just read the post. Seriously.

Now, I'm thinking that, as far as generalizations go, if we're going to say women have trouble promoting themselves, then we'd better say that perfectionists have quite the tough time as well, as do Christians, and others belonging to religious groups that also emphasize being humble. 

Perfectionists are hard on themselves, and often less likely to discuss how fantastic they are because of the near-impossible standards they regularly hold themselves to.

As far as religious beliefs go, those seeking to live lives of humility are probably not the first ones to start tooting their own horns.

As a Christian female with perfectionist tendencies... Well, you get the picture. Though really, whether or not you possess one or all three of these traits, it will probably be hard to intensely self-promote if you don't believe in your own, well, awesomeness.  So a first step is reminding yourself of your God-given gifts and abilities. I am not, however, going to write a whole post convincing you of how everyone is fantastic - that for the moment is up to you, and hopefully some lovely people in your life :)

Now, once one is feeling more confident overall, and that they'd be very much worth hiring, the time comes to start sounding like what could be perceived as a bit of an egotist. I'm not just talking about the classic, "I am a hard-working individual, quick learner, blah blah blah etc." spiel. (Though this is good CV stuff, and these are important qualities.) No, as the aforementioned blog post mentions, and as I've been encouraged to do this past summer at "scholar camp", I'm thinking more about the persistent emails, the CV drop-off follow ups, the convincing self-pitches about how your work is FANTASTIC, how your potential employer would be infinitely better off with you as part of his/her team. It all makes me think of Gilmore Girls, as many things do, (THE best show, in my humble opinion), Season 6, Episode 9, in which college student Rory Gilmore works to get her desired position: (You can skip the example below if you don't like reading TV show scripts and/or examples... But it's a good one!)

[At the office of the Stamford Eagle Gazette]

RORY [jumps up]: She's pointing at me!

MR. WOOLES: Rory Gilmore!

RORY: As you live and breathe.

MR. WOOLES: Uh, I'm sorry, did we, uh -

RORY: No, we didn't have an appointment. I just thought I would come down here and talk to you about a job.

MR. WOOLES: A job?

RORY: A beginning staff writer job, to be exact.

MR. WOOLES: Okay, I think maybe we got our signals crossed earlier. I thought I was clear, I don't have any jobs available.

RORY: No, you were very clear. You said you didn't have any jobs available and I heard you. I have excellent hearing, among my many other qualifications which I have listed here on my resume. [She hands him an envelope.]

MR. WOOLES: Your -

RORY: And my portfolio. [She picks up two large binders.] Samples of all my writing. All my work from the Yale Daily News, plus a couple of spec pieces that I've just recently finished. Ideas, potential pitches, theater reviews. [She hands him the binders.]

MR. WOOLES: Well, I'm sure that this is all -

RORY: Look, I know that this is very spur of the moment, but I thought maybe you could find a minute to sit down and talk with me.

MR. WOOLES: About what?

RORY: About a job.

MR. WOOLES: But I don't have any job openings.

RORY: I know, but see, earlier, when we were on the phone, you were so positive and optimistic, and you said so many complimentary things! I mean, frankly, you made me sound great! So great that I thought, hey, you should hire that girl.

MR. WOOLES [shaking his head]: But -

RORY: I already know most of the staff! The rhythm of this place. How it runs. I know where you keep the pens. I have personally fixed the copier in that coffee room on more than ten occasions. But the bottom line is, Mitchum was wrong. I am a very good writer. And I have great organizational skills, yes, but I know how to come at an article. I have a point of view. A voice. And - big selling point - I am a huge bargain.

MR. WOOLES: Rory, these are wonderful points, but I have nothing at this moment!

RORY: If you could sit down and talk with me I bet we could work that out.

MR. WOOLES: I have no time to sit and talk with you today. I'm sorry.

RORY: Look. I have sent my resume to several other papers. I'm not worried about finding a position. I'm worried about finding the right position. The right place for me. I think this is the right place for me.

MR. WOOLES: Well, it's not the right place for you, because there is no place for you! I have no job openings!

RORY: Give me ten minutes of your time and I bet I can change your mind.

MR. WOOLES: I don't have ten minutes.

RORY: I would be invaluable to you here.

MR. WOOLES: If I gave you a job I'd have to fire Harry.

RORY: Five minutes.

MR. WOOLES: Sorry.

RORY: That's okay. I can wait.

[She sits down and folds her hands in her lap.]  

Rory's persistence eventually pays off, and Mr. Wooles hires her. Naturally, this isn't representative of all circumstances, but your chances of being hired increase substantially the more appealing you appear to your prospective employer, and how will he/she know how amazing you are unless you tell him/her? And subsequently remind them by resurfacing? (Because CVs can get buried and forgotten pretty quickly.) Of course, this doesn't mean that once you've been very firmly rejected you should keep showing up; that could lead to a restraining order. However, as long as there's a possibility, however slight, of success, keep going for it! Declare that you have impressive accomplishments and are enthused by the prospect of working at your desired company! As the blog post first mentioned suggests, perhaps be so obnoxious as to have other people start thinking you're rather narcissistic. You may not get the job you want if you aren't able or willing to risk sounding full of yourself to some people. But really, how important is it what you sound like to them? The post's author writes:

It’s tempting to imagine that women could be forceful and self-confident without being arrogant or jerky, but that’s a false hope, because it’s other people who get to decide when they think you’re a jerk, and trying to stay under that threshold means giving those people veto power over your actions. To put yourself forward as someone good enough to do interesting things is, by definition, to expose yourself to all kinds of negative judgments, and as far as I can tell, the fact that other people get to decide what they think of your behavior leaves only two strategies for not suffering from those judgments: not doing anything, or not caring about the reaction. [Italics mine.]

And that is a wonderful argument, especially for those of us who fear being perceived as too "over the top"... It really applies to lots of things in life.

Anyhow, I write all this as if to some external audience, but in reality, I am writing to myself as much as anyone. I hope I can put some of these principles and suggestions to use in the job/internship hunt this summer, and I hope you can too, if ever they seem to be of use!

PS - I hope that this ridiculously long post somewhat makes up for my prolonged lack of updates.

Typique

Welcome back to Montréal ... It's snowed heaps and heaps these past two days.
Yesterday, from the warmth of residence, I looked out the window onto the courtyard, and the cutest thing:
Three boys, the term "boys" being loosely used I suppose, still, standing on a path slightly lower than our courtyard's field - they were contemplating the field, which is covered in almost two feet of snow, with shovels and hockey sticks in hand. One of them wore a bright red toque.
Far too adorably classic; they're going to make an ice rink. Typiquement canadien.

There's Hope

To (very loosely) sum up these past few months in terms of school, I'd have to say that I've been somewhat disappointed.

I've always identified myself as a school-lover - I was never really a full-out studier, or one who did nothing but school work, but I LOVED LEARNING. Or thought I did...

This past semester has made me re-evaluate that self-description a lot, because, to be perfectly honest, I haven't felt nearly as inspired by my courses in this institute of higher learning as I had hoped I would.

I'm pretty sure that this is largely due to the facts that university is much harder than I had thought it would be (duh, right?), and that there is no one affirming your "brilliance" every step of the way in these classes filled with hundreds of intelligent students.

This isn't to say that I've had no moments of academic enlightenment, wherein I felt supreme inspiration and excitement for a particular subject, no, it's just that these feelings haven't been quite as frequent as I had rather naïvely assumed they would be. At times, I've felt like quitting; I've been wondering what the point is of my being here at all. Yes, McGill is lovely, Montréal is beautiful, I'm surrounded by amazing friends and am having fantastic experiences, but... I'm here not just for all these wonderful things, but also, and primarily I suppose, to gain an education of some sort. And I just haven't been feeling it.

(Though, I am still in my first semester, so no worries, I know that this meagre amount of experience doesn't exactly provide enough evidence to cause me to jump ship!)

Nonetheless, it's been discouraging.

But here's where the renewal of hope comes in; there's two parts.

Part 1

After talking with my uncle, who's a professor in educational psychology, I've become more and more interested in the fields of educational and social psychology. So today, on the advice of one of my residence dons, I visited a social psych prof because I thought his work sounded interesting, and wanted to speak with him in person. Unfortunately, he had had to end his office hours early for the day, as he was heading to teach a class, so I intercepted him just as he was leaving. Fortunately, on the other hand, this gave me the chance to simply chat with him as he walked down the hill.

He wore a long, rough brown leather overcoat, a hat that looked like it belonged to a lone ranger, and puffed up a storm on his cigarette as we moseyed down the street. He spoke like a lone ranger too - a cross between that and a private detective. There was quite the air of old-school tenacity and intelligence about him; "Come see me next week", he said, and so indeed I shall. I hope he becomes even more interesting the longer we talk...

Part 2

After that delightful encounter, I decided to finally check out the Islamic Studies Library, and is it ever a GEM! Pure intellectual beauty, a marvel! all right here in one innocent-looking building. I'm sitting here right now in fact, albeit in a study carrel reserved for an unknown graduate student.

"We ask that you please be ready to move elsewhere should the student to whom [this study carrel] is assigned need to use it."

I hope the graduate student doesn't show up anytime soon, because this study carrel is an academic inspiration.

Though thank goodness, there are other tables at which to work which are not graduate-student-assigned. So, I will definitely be back.

The woodwork, the tiling, the shelves and shelves of books in languages I don't understand.... Ah. This library is so silent too. One of those places with the perfect mixture of inspiring and thought-provoking gorgeousness and silence that makes one feel they simply must take part in intellectual pursuits. It makes me feel that I should do something important and innovative just because I'm here. Sitting in a graduate student carrel also inspires me to work, because if I were just on Facebook or browsing the internet, then surely someone would walk by, see, point, and cry out, "SHE can't possibly be the graduate student to whom this study carrel is assigned! She's wasting her time on a non-academic pursuits such as Facebook and looking up Harry Potter memes!" (Which is, of course, something a student in grad school would never dream of doing. ...)

Although I suppose all of this is somewhat ironic, considering the fact that I'm currently blogging... But hey, it could be worse. And you should've seen how productive I was JUST being!

Anyhow, these past two experiences, particularly the time spent in this library, have given me a little injection of hope - perhaps learning could be riveting and wonderful once more.

Let's just hope that this renewal of inspiration is enough to get me through final exams.

The Good

Time for a list of positivity:

• The leaves here are turning very beautiful colours.

• I realized Korean food can be verrry tasty. Thank you Sunny and Sivakami :)

• Friends friends friends friends... they are what make everything bearable. I love you all so very much. As A1 has said, Dsquared is the best medicine! Little does she know that she is pretty darn good medicine herself. ... Actually, I think she does know. I told her.

• Speaking of friends, a couple of mine discovered a most excellent study nook, which I now like to frequent. Here's a photo of the space in the library bookshelves, and a view from the window beside it:

• Physics - discussing black holes. And anti-matter. YES. I also am thoroughly enjoying the playing out of Big Bang Theory-esque physics nerd stereotypes... My TAs for the course are the bomb, as some might say... So incredibly adorable! The theoretical physics department is seriously awesome. Here's a picture of Erwin Schrödinger that hangs just outside the washroom:

• One good mark. Yay for logic. But that was before I took eight hours to complete a 1-2 hour take-home midterm... Oh right! Back to positivity. Looks fun, n'est-ce pas?

• Fantaisiste - it's a good word! Ça veut dire: odd. eccentric. far-fetched.

• MUSIC. J'adore Félix Leclerc. Il me fait sourire peu importe ce qui s'est passé pendant la journée ! - Voici "Moi, mes souliers":

Now tell me that didn't at least make you smile.

• Church. I feel so blessed to have found RBC. I don't think I've ever liked church this much. Which is probably because it becomes something a lot more meaningful when you're not in a Christian school with only Christian friends and chapel and youth every week. Plus there are so many amazing people there - truly welcoming.

• Maman et Papan m'ont visitée !

• Speaking French and noticing serious improvement - it really boosts my confidence whenever my Francophone friends tell me I'm actually pretty good... Just saying ;)

• Piano... I get to teach piano to the most adorable two younger girls. In French. Does it get much better?

Solidarité

"Sol Sol Sol, Solidarité! Sol Sol Sol, Solidarité!" Maybe I should write this in CAPS to get the point across: "SOL SOL SOL, SOLIDARITÉ!!!!!" This chant is ringing in my ears at the moment.

Watch a quick video of it here (and this was only the beginning... a weak cry compared to what followed!):

The MUNACA strike here at McGill has now been going on for three official weeks. If you want to read an article about it in the McGill Daily (student-run newspaper), you can here: http://issuu.com/mcgilldaily/docs/vol101issu2/1. But I'm not going to detail the strike issues at this point, because I don't want to relay any incorrect information, and I don't want to bore you if you don't want to stay up-to-date on current events here in Montréal...

Anyhow, at this very moment, I am sitting in the giant lecture hall in one of McGill's less beautiful buildings, Leacock, beside one of McGill's more beautiful students, my lovely friend Schmall. And ABOVE US, McGill students who have decided to take their support of the strikers to the next level are chanting "SOLIDARITÉ!" (In case you didn't make the connection, yes, "solidarité" does mean "solidarity"!) Even in terms of picket lines, I noticed today that strikers had moved from just marching at campus entrances to walking up and down the street, blowing whistles, banging drums, and chanting all the while. And now the ever so supportive students have deemed it suitable to bring the noise ON campus, into the buildings. I'm trying to focus on my Psychology class (and yes, this blog posting :P), but it's almost impossible. The sound comes in waves (haha, pun! and we're talking about sensory perception in class today) as the group picks up energy and yells more and more loudly. They have drums too! I'm kind of surprised that they're allowed to be here, right by all of the lecture halls and classrooms... And drums, really?

Ah well, I understand the point of annoying us: so we'll DO something.

Oh gosh, they're cheering (loudly) for themselves now! This is an energy-pick-up moment to be certain. Huzzah, more yelling. Maybe I will send an email to our allegedly over-paid and over-benefitted principal...

Read about that here: http://www.mcgilldaily.com/2011/09/principal’s-salary-contract-reveals-details-of-perks-2/.

Oh no! Would you look at this: Psych class is ending early because our professor (who happens to be one of the nicest profs/people I've yet met - he walked through the aisles and said hi to everyone today!) said that "the demonstration got to [him]". So... time to pack up I suppose - twenty minutes before the lecture officially ends. I guess the strikers are making themselves heard.